Over tired...

Its after midnight, but here goes...

So... what did I eat today? (technically yesterday...)

Breakfast:

2 slices ez toast with pb and jam; milk

Lunch:

diet coke with lemon; 2 beef sliders; french fries; thai lettuce wraps (2)

Dinner:

Chinese food buffet (never a good idea when trying to lose weight!!!)

May tomorrow be better...

Oh, how the mighty has fallen...

What a ba-a-ad day! WHY?! I am not sure...

So... what did I eat today?

Breakfast:

milk at home with vitamin and ibuprofen

1/2 energy bagel with cream cheese

Snack:

1/2 bagel (honey wheat) with cream cheese

Lunch:

beef stoup; giant marshmallow; 2 lindt balls

Snack:

OMG! I stopped at Trader Joe's after a long walk in the woods. I got potato chips and oatmeal cookies dipped in chocolate and proceeded to eat 1/2 of each in the car ride home. CRAZY!!!

Dinner:

clam chowder; corn bread with butter; nachos with sour cream and salsa

Just as I start to make a little progress and feel a little good about myself, I ruin it and attack my own efforts. What is this about?

May tomorrow be better...

So tired...

Every evening I come home ready to "shut down," whether it is 6PM or 10PM. What is wrong with me?

So... what did I eat today?

Breakfast:

cereal with milk; banana

Snack:

pb crackers in 2/3B.

Lunch:

cucumber with dip; beef stoup; smallish bowl of coffee ice cream

Dinner:

chicken and veggie curry over white rice; caramel apple (WHY?!)

May tomorrow be better... please...

Quick and dirty...

So... what did I eat today?

Breakfast:

breakfast was at school today, since I had to shovel the driveway first. It was a bowl of high fiber cereal with milk and a banana.

Snack:

None. Ella was very sad so I sat with her throughout snack and I didn't take a break.

Lunch:

cantaloupe; beef stoup

Snack:

whole caramel apple (tsk...tsk...)

Dinner:

whole steak sub (1/2 should have been sufficient); small bag of chips

Meeting at Oxbow, so dinner was on the run ~ never a good thing. Not an excuse, but an explanation...

May tomorrow be better...

Okay...

At first, I felt like such a failure... until I really thought about it. Then I realized I could still sort of rescue the day if I was careful... so I did.

So... what did I eat today?

Breakfast:

2 slices ez toast with pb and jam; milk

Snack:

banana

Lunch:

beef stoup; multi-grain chips (too many); a few slices caramel apple

Dinner:

chicken tikka masala; mixed veggies; white rice; 2 slices nan

May tomorrow be better...

No title...

All I could think of was "tired," but I've used it before, so today has no title.

So... what did I eat today?

Breakfast:

2 slices ez toast with pb and honey or jam; milk

Snack:

cantaloupe (planned); cupcake (unplanned-in the staff room)

Lunch:

curry chicken and onions with peas on boiled potatoes and carrots (Still YUM!); a small piece of cake (still in staff room). I really wish I hadn't eaten the cupcake or the cake, as it wasn't worth it. Why must I eat something just because it is there?!

Snack:

yogurt with raspberries and syrup

Dinner:

A long drive around trying to decide what to eat and where, then I decided to go home instead. I stopped at the convenience store and bought a little bag of chips. I wanted Wachusett, but they only had them in bigger bags and I knew I'd eat it all (or at least more than a serving size!), so I bought a different brand in a little bag. I went home and made sweet potato "fries" in the oven, as well as asparagus that way and they were delicious. Then I had an ice cream bar for dessert (that I also picked up at the store... also single-serving).

May tomorrow be better...

Oy!

I am holding on, but it isn't easy.

So... what did I eat today?

Breakfast:

banana; cereal with milk; a few peanuts

Lunch:

rice with veggies; spinach souffle

Snack:

1/2 cup cocoa (ran out of milk)

Dinner:

sauteed chicken and onions in a curry sauce with peas, served over boiled potatoes and carrots

It was AWESOME! Sometimes these "thrown together" dinners are perfect!

Dessert:

caramel apple I got when I went out for milk for tomorrow's breakfast

I shoveled for nearly three hours today, if that counts as exercise...

May tomorrow be better...

Pizza and stress...

OK, I don't know what is causing the stress and the increased eating urges (obsessions!), but I have a few guesses and it could be a combination:

1. It could be the hormone supplement~I am at the start of a 10-day round

2. It could be the stress of snow and shoveling

3. It could be thinking about moving out and all that it entails (YIKES!)

4. And it could be all the social challenges of my life

So... what did I eat today? And what did I want to eat but avoided?

Breakfast:

cereal ~ a mix of multigrain and high fiber (Barbara's) with milk

Snack:

banana muffin with 2/3A

Lunch:

brown rice with veggies; spinach souffle; one butterscotch candy

Snack:

goldfish with YT's

Dinner:

an entire small pizza (extra sauce/light on the cheese)

Dessert:

hot cocoa

I obsessed about potato chips and really wanted them all evening, but avoided the temptation. I wanted ice cream, cookies, cake---anything sweet, which is why I finally had the hot cocoa, which satisfied the urge for sweet.

May tomorrow be better...

The temptation of cookies...

Other than the cookies in the staff room, this was a pretty good day. Oh, the temptation of cookies...

So... what did I eat today?

Breakfast:

I tried a new cereal, a health version of Life cereal from Barbara's. It was tasty, but I am not sure how nutritious or filling... I had it with milk and a banana

Snacks:

Several pairs of cookies at a few points throughout the morning as I passed through the staff room...

Lunch:

veggies and dip (pea pods, celery, and carrots with ranch); a bean burrito from a celophane wrapper (I picked it up at Debra's, I think). I was okay, but weird to not have my own homemade lunch. A few more cookies...

Dinner:

Fried rice with veggies; spinach and ricotta souffle with a little asiago (could've used more!)

Dessert:

hot cocoa

May tomorrow be better... and devoid of cookies!

Stress=Distance

As I struggle with stress, I struggle with distancing myself from my weight loss attempts and that just makes things worse. Tonight's entry is an attempt to combat that. I don't want to be blogging, but I am pushing myself to, to stave off a bad rut of avoidance. We'll see...

So... what did I eat today?

Breakfast:

Pizza toast ~ two slices of ez bread with pepperjack cheese and sauce; a few peanuts

Late lunch with Viv:

2 pieces of bread dipped in olive oil and cheese; french fries; turkey club sandwich at NYAJoe's

Evening snack:

caramel apple with peanuts

Not the healthiest choices...

I went snowshoeing today with Viv at Ipswich River Sanctuary. We fed the birds and had a wonderful, long hike.

So... ups and downs... May tomorrow be better...

Knowing and doing...

Carefully, carefully I navigate between knowing what to do and actually doing it... it isn't easy and sometimes feels impossible, like today. Another snow day meant I was home unexpectedly... never a good thing. I spent too long shoveling too much snow so my body ached and was fatigued. And I was left on my own in a way that felt like abandonment, even if it wasn't meant that way, which made me feel hurt and alone. All temptations to overeat. I spent all afternoon considering going out and finally decided to stay in---the effort seemed too great and I didn't want to bother spending money when in such a mood. Besides, I knew I had decent food here and I didn't want to binge or eat too much out and then eat home food, too, potentially. It was a struggle...

So... what did I eat today?

Breakfast:

1/2 grapefruit; apricot/date bread, toasted with butter

Snack:

minneola; peanuts after shoveling

Lunch:

whole wheat pasta with sausages and sauce with ricotta cheese

Dinner:

2 slices ez bread pizza with pepperjack cheese; pea pods, carrot sticks, celery sticks with dip

Hot cocoa for dessert

So I made it through the day, but not in a happy or satisfying way. I survived, which is the bare minimum of existence. I can do better than this...

May tomorrow be better...

Fearing success, fearing failure...

It is hard to have a little success because now I fear screwing it up and I fear I am not worthy of it, somehow. How wrong is that?! Anyway, it is wearing on me. I will continue to muddle through and get past this tricky spot of almost beginning but still feeling like I am on the brink...

So... what did I eat today?

Breakfast:

1 thick slice apricot date bread, toasted, with butter; milk

This bread is so delicious, I can't even describe it...

Snack:

banana muffin with 2/3B

Lunch:

salmon casserole; yogurt with raspberries and syrup

Snack:

Hot cocoa; peanuts

Dinner:

whole wheat pasta with sausages and sauce with ricotta cheese; green beans

This was a challenge because there was an undetermined amount of pasta left in a bag and I cooked it all, along with three sausages. I ate a generous portion and controlled myself not to go back for more (though I clearly could...). I separated the remaining food into two containers, figuring it was about right, portionally, and it made sense because there were three sausages to start. This sounds simple and normal and ordinary... but for me this was a win. Sad, perhaps, but this is still a noticeable thing for me. I ate fairly reasonably when I could have binged and blamed old habits. A small win, but a win none the less...

And may tomorrow be better...

Tenuous grip...

Oh, is it ever so fragile! I finally got brave enough to weigh myself this morning and discovered that I've lost 6 pounds in January. I was relieved, but I also realize that I could/should be doing so much better. Isn't that always the way? Instead of celebrating a six pound loss as a win, my mind went straight to "Well, I could have done so much better if only I'd..."

And then today got busy and stressful and I was distracted and run down... which meant some mindless eating. I can't let these moments undo all my hard work and I need to stay focused and ready for battle.

So... what did I eat today?

Breakfast:

a thick slice of apricot date bread, toasted with butter (OMG!); milk

Snack:

banana muffin in 2/3A

Lunch:

cucumber, sliced; salmon casserole

Snack:

banana; raspberry yogurt with syrup

Snack:

2 squares of chocolate as I rushed around setting up for meeting

Dinner:

2 slices pizza; several handfuls of m&m's

I started to feel very ill part way through the evening---exhausted and nauseous. I realized I hadn't had much water today and quickly drank two pints. I felt better almost immediately and I drank two more big glasses when I got home a while ago. The scary thing is, though, that I still don't have to pee---how dehydrated is that?!

Lesson learned: don't avoid drinking because I am too busy or because drinking makes me cold. Staying hydrated helps me limit how much I "binge," too. It is an established fact for me...

May tomorrow be better...

Hmm...

I am struggling to stay the course and temptations are swamping me.

So... what did I eat today?

Breakfast:

Scone with jam; milk; banana

Snack:

scone with jam

Lunch:

butternut soup; bread pudding cake

Dinner:

salmon casserole; small bag of chips (because I knew they were in the cabinet...); raspberry smoothie to ward off the munchies (it worked)

May tomorrow be better...

Auto Pilot eating...

I had a bad day and ate horribly. Yesterday was an outing and a treat---today was just plain foolish and disgusting when I think about it. Stress and depression and too much ,,, I don't know, really, just "too much..."

So... what did I eat today?

Breakfast:

1/2 bread pudding "cake"; hot cocoa; banana

Lunch:

salmon casserole

Dinner:

Chips and salsa; black bean and corn empanadas; jambalaya; diet coke with lots of lemon

Snack:

scone (small) while I was making them for tomorrow

I went shopping for a dress for Michelle's wedding and trying on clothes always causes great stress. What sense it makes to then pig out I cannot explain, but there you go. It is an addiction, I know, so there is no logic to it. I crashed, unfortunately. They are very unhealthy---way too salty, high in bad fat... and followed on top of nearly an entire basket of chips (also too salty!), it just makes very bad sense...

Please, please, please... may tomorrow be better...

Two-day squeeze...

Somehow I forgot yesterday and now today is nearly over... Let me re-construct as best I can...

Friday's breakfast:

Home with a snow day (again!) so I distracted myself with a lovely, special breakfast...

2 scrambled eggs; asparagus; homefries YUM!

Lunch:

ez bread pizza (2 slices)

Dinner:

1/2 order of tex-mex egg rolls; 1/2 cashew chicken salad; some of G's fries and a diet coke with lots of lemon at CF

Now, today...

Breakfast:

high fiber cereal (Barbara's) with milk

Lunch:

1/2 a seafood platter with shack potatoes and coleslaw; diet coke with lots of lemon

Snack:

buttercrunch dough nut from Congdon's; mocha frappachino from Starbuck's

Snack:

small bag of chips on the way home from the grocery store

Dinner:

butternut soup; when pigs fly bread ~ YUM!... a handful of peanuts

Exercise: snowshoeing

May tomorrow be better...

Facts only

So... what did i eat today?

Breakfast:

2 pumpkin muffins; milk

Snack:

banana

Snack:

mocha frappachino while running an errand

Lunch:

cucumber with dip; butternut soup

snack:

orange

Dinner:

3 small pieces of pizza; corn chips; pirate booty; chocolate chip cookies at staff meeting

Believe it or not, I fought some battles and won today, despite the evidence.

May tomorrow be better...

Quickie...

So... what did I eat today?

Breakfast:

2 large whole wheat pancakes with pecans, butter and syrup

Snack:

banana; pb crackers with 2/3B

Lunch:

butternut soup; cucumber with hummus

Snack:

granola bars (2 in package so I ate both); hot cocoa

Dinner:

whole wheat pasta with homemade sauce and sausages; broccoli (lots)

Lots of "hunger" and thinking about food; some successes avoiding overeating.

May tomorrow be better...

Snow Day...

I HATE SNOW DAYS!

There. I've said it. I am so different from most of the rest of the world, I know, but I HATE being trapped at home. I hate not going to work. I hate having too much "free" time on my hands. I feel like I need to use it well... and then I sit and do nothing... so I feel guilty and depressed... It would just be so much easier to go to work!

So... what did I eat today?

Being stuck at home with nothing to do, I felt like eating ALL DAY LONG. I managed to keep it fairly reasonable, but I hate that it took so much effort to do. What a whiner, eh?!

Breakfast:

2 large whole wheat pancakes with pecans and syrup; banana

Lunch:

pineapple; butternut soup with a little chouirizo; ez english muffin with pepperjack melted on top; a few peanuts

Dinner:

whole wheat pasta with homemade sauce; sausage; broccoli (lots!)

Lots of shoveling and lots of laying around... there'd best be work tomorrow!

May tomorrow be better...

I'm back from Chicago...

...and still struggling. In fact, I definitely "slipped" while I was away. I didn't record my eating, since I left the computer at home, but it wasn't good.

Today is a good example...

Breakfast at the airport:

mocha frappachino at Starbuck's; sausage mcmuffin with egg at MacDonald's; banana that I brought along

Snack on plane:

bag of sweet potato chips

Lunch with Viv, Greg and Nick at NYAJoe's:

bread dipped in oil (2 small pieces); most of a hamburger; grilled asparagus; cup of sweet potato soup

No real dinner, just evening "snacks":

peanuts; whole wheat crackers; yogurt smoothie with peaches, raspberries and pineapple

Now that I am home, maybe I can get a routine going that feels comfortable and gets results.

May tomorrow be better...

Still moving...

I am still moving on this and doing what I can. I am starting this entry early today, as I have a night meeting and I don't want to forget to record.

So... what did I eat today?

Breakfast:
ez english muffing with pb and jam; milk

Lunch:
brown rice with broccoli and leeks; tomato soup; tomato and avocado with italian dressing

Snack:
banana cocolate chip muffin; yogurt with raspberries and syrup; peanuts

I had a large snack because there will be food at tonight's thing, but I am not sure what it will be or how comfortable I'll be eating with others. I will try to post more later...

So... here it is much later...

Dinner:

tortellini soup; tortilla chips; rice krispy treat; brownie

Eating in a public forum is sometimes tricky for me and tonight was one of those nights, but I made it. I can't say I enjoyed the food, because i was too busy being obsessed with whether or not to eat and how much, but I managed to eat and mostly restrain myself. I HATE that I constantly think about food, but I am working on that, too (both the thinking and the hating!).

May tomorrow be better...

Hurting...

Tonight I am hurting... physically and emotionally. We've had a blizzard, which meant I was stuck inside all day, only a trip to the driveway to break the drone of being home. And the hard, hard work of the driveway means I am in incredible pain tonight. The emotional pain comes from dealing with my mother and with the guilt I feel for disliking her so much, even though she is nothing but mean to me most of the time. I faced it long ago, she doesn't like me and she never has. My father loved her, though, and in his memory I try to do the right thing. But it isn't enough and I resent her and my "obligation" to her. On days like this when I am stuck here, it eats away at me. I know I am trapped and it suffocates me... but enough of that...

So... what did I eat today?

Breakfast:

high fiber cereal with milk; two oranges

Lunch:

ez english muffin with melted pepperjack cheese, tomato slices and avocado; carrots with hummus; whole wheat crackers

Dinner:

brown rice; broccoli and leeks sauteed in peanut oil; sweet potato fries; peanuts; buttercrunch toffee while I was waiting for my sweet potato fries to come out of the oven

Dessert:

yogurt smoothie with raspberry and peaches and syrup

May tomorrow be better... and not so laden with emotion...

Not trying hard enough...

I can feel like I am not trying hard enough---it is too easy to slip and I need to pay more attention before I lose too much ground and momentum. Today was hard, with lots of change in routine, leaving way too much room for error.

So... what did I eat today?

Breakfast:

banana chocolate chip muffing; milk

Snack:

blueberry muffin with 2/3A

Lunch:

crackers, hummus, carrots, cucumbers, and celery; tomato "soup" made with tomatoes from my garden this summer; 1/2 caramel apple

Snack:

yogurt with raspberries and syrup; banana muffin

Dinner:

rice with broccoli and leeks sauteed in peanut oil

hot cocoa on the way to board meeting

May tomorrow be better...

Pounding...

I have a pounding head ache, but here goes...

So... what did I eat today?

Breakfast:

banana muffin; milk

Snack: banana and another muffin

Lunch:

butternut soup; peanuts; small bowl ice cream because my bread was stale and I couldn't make toast to go with my soup ~ lame, I know

Dinner:

hummus with celery, cucumber, carrots, and crackers; brussels sprouts; a few bites of rice as I made it for the week; more peanuts

Dessert:

1/2 a candy apple

I walked two miles at NARA so I wouldn't have to go to the gym...

May tomorrow be better...

Tired...

I am tired, so this is quick:

So... what did I eat today?

Breakfast:

1/2 pb and banana sandwich; milk

Lunch:

fried seafood ~ haddock, shrimp, onion rings and fries; coleslaw; diet coke w/lemon

Snack:

mocha frappachino at Starbuck's

Dinner:

bread dipped in cheese and oil; cobb salad at NYAJoe's

Snack:

piece of buttercrunch while making muffins for tomorrow

May tomorrow be better...

Trying, but...

Today, I've been trying, but I've also made some bad choices. And the day isn't over yet...

So... what did I eat today (so far)?

Breakfast:

peanutbutter and jam sandwich on whole wheat; whole milk

Snack:

banana

Lunch:

crackers and cheese; cheese curls with Uncle Fred

Snack:

bran muffin and apple

Dinner:

ham; beans; pineapple; salad

a cookie after clean-up... and who knows what will happen before bed...?

Today...

After posting yesterday's eating this morning, I got brave and finally weighed myself, fearing the worst since eating was so awful over the CHristmas week, especially. But with the many good choices this week (I guess...) it really wasn't too awful (comparatively!). I will count this as the official beginning of the next round of losing:

264

So... what did I eat today?

Breakfast:

bowl of oat squares with milk

Snack:

large blueberry muffin (rectangle bake pan)

Lunch:

butternut soup; ham roll-ups

Snack:

two mugs of hot chocolate

Dinner:

chinese food at buffet in Littleton

May tomorrow be better...

Falling and forgetting...

I woke this morning realizing I never posted last night. Maybe because I fell off the wagon a bit? So... this is me getting back on.

So... what did I eat yesterday?

Breakfast:

ez english muffin with pb and jam; milk

Snack:

orange; 3 squares of chocolate

Lunch:

butternut soup; rice with zucchini and peas

Snack:

yogurt with peaches and syrup; pistachios

Dinner:

carrot, celery and dip while making dinner; potato, carrot and brussels sprouts; ham slices

Dessert:

9 chocolate penguins ~ Yup! I ate the entire box of chocolates... not a shining moment...

May today be better...

Teetering still...

Starting again is S-O-O-O HARD! As much as I want to succeed, I also want to eat---anything and everything. And I can't. And I want to anyway. So today had many temptations and I "won" several of the battles. But I also slipped a few times and that is hard when the attempt at change is so new.

So... what did I eat today?

Breakfast:

Scrambled eggs and asparagus; milk

Snack:

peanutbutter crackers and apple slices with 2/3B ~ I popped the crackers without even thinking.

Lunch:

Butternut soup; turkey roll-ups; potato chips that were in the break room (ouch!); yogurt

On my way to knitting I really wanted Starbuck's and it was a battle epic to avoid it but I made it...

Dinner:

Leftover salmon and broccoli; brown rice with grilled zucchini, onion and peas

Dessert:

2 reese's christmas trees from DM (I wanted to eat all six, so I suppose in a weird universe this could be a success of sorts... but it feels like the failure I know it to be...)

May tomorrow be better...

Hard work goes on...

Today was hard, with many temptations and some failures (failure to plan and follow through...).

So... what did I eat today?

Breakfast:

2 large ww pecan pancakes w/maple syrup and butter; milk

Snack:

a few bites of jell-o as I prepared snack; blackberries (my planned snack on break...)

Lunch:

apple (in class as children ate); butternut soup; a little leftover tuna (kind of yucky, so I tossed the end---it was "stale")

Snack:

a little mini muffin from Thomas; yogurt with syrup and raspberries

Dinner:

mashed potatoes; beef bourguignon; sauteed chinese cabbage

Dessert:

ice cream and several LU cookies

I definitely should NOT have had ice cream and cookies---will I have to start skipping the Tuesday dinners?!

I also did not go to the gym on my way home ~ tired and cold ~ so this feels like a failure. I really do hate the gym, but I don't want to walk in the mornings when it is so dark and cold, either...hmmm... and I am really sore from yesterday's gym trip (and not in a good way). I pounded my joints and that's not good...

May tomorrow be better...

Taking another step...

I made another tentative step down the road to success, whatever that means. I struggled most of the day with what to eat and how much to consume. In the end, I did okay, but it hasn't been easy and right now I'd like a hot fudge sundae or 3. The tentative step is that I made it to the gym today. It was awful and I hated much of it, but I did it. I hated seeing myself in the mirrors there. I hated the equipment and the crowds and the mind-numbing boredom... but I managed the elliptical machine for 7 and 1/2 minutes before my calves cramped, and then I moved on to an available treadmill for 25 minutes. My goal was a half hour of exercise, so I just made it. I am sore tonight... obviously I go faster on a treadmill than I do on the road or woods because I go a LOT longer when I walk naturally and i don't get this kind of sore. Hmm... how can I keep the gym interesting and not let it become about despising myself?

So... what did I eat today?

Breakfast:

ezekiel english muffin with peanutbutter and jam; milk

Snack:

blackberries

Lunch:

beef stoup

Snack:

cucumbers and carrots with dip; pistachios

Dinner:

I mashed potato; 2 slices grilled zucchini; broccoli; pan-fried salmon

I am in bed now so I practice sleeping and so I won't eat. One of my goals for the new year is to get more sleep and I need to learn to be a better sleeper...

May tomorrow be better...

Tiptoe, tiptoe...

I am trying so hard and I am so afraid. I am tiptoeing around this and being very careful not to push too hard or make it all impossible. I am struggling with emotions and physical sensations along with the changes I am trying to make. Today I was taking a walk and two cars arrived at the same spot as me and everyone had to decide who was going first. I got impatient and flagged a guy on, grumbling. The driver of the second vehicle saw my crabby face, likely, and rolled down her window, saying "Happy New Year." She wasn't being sarcastic, exactly, but she wasn't being nice, either. It seemed like one of those moments of being "put in my place." I was not gracious, unfortunately, confirming my inferiority. I HATE that about me. My nerves are definitely on edge and I am concerned about how I will be at work. I may have to call the doctor about this hormone supplement, if that is in fact what is making me so edgy.

So... what did I eat today?

Breakfast:

2 largish whole wheat pancakes with butter and maple syrup (delicious!)

Lunch:

yogurt raspberry smoothie with maple syrup; two thin slices of ham; carrots and cucumbers with ranch dip

Dinner:

2 slices bread with butter; salad; shrimp and scallop fra diavlo at Chateau

The bread and butter was too much and there was a lot of pasta (not huge, but more white pasta than I should eat). I need to cut up and have on hand more veggies so I get enough in for the day. Tomorrow I will cook some more choices, too, so i won't be tempted to eat out...

May tomorrow be better...

Teetering on the brink...

It is a new year today and I have been hoping for a miracle---that this would be the time I found my pixie dust. I am teetering on the edge... working so hard and yet not quite making it. But I didn't totally fail today, either and that leaves me with hope. Tomorrow is another day and I can keep trying---I WILL keep trying until I get this right.

I want to live. I don't know why yet, but I know I want to find out.

So... what did I eat today?

Breakfast:

scrambled eggs (2); grilled asparagus (10 spears)

Snack:

raspberry smoothie

Lunch:

leftover zucchini rice (small serving); a few bites of beef stoup

Impulse gorge:

fudge in fridge---I finally spit out the last of it and threw it all away

Later, I popped a handful of m&m's on the way through the livingroom (habit)

Dinner:

tuna sandwich on ezekiel english muffin with 1 slice of pepperjack cheese; milk

So there were some rough moments and many times I wanted to eat much more than this, especially throughout the evening... but I managed to stay clear of the kitchen.

I feel awful, but I know that I have tomorrow to try again...

And may tomorrow be better...