Carefully, carefully I navigate between knowing what to do and actually doing it... it isn't easy and sometimes feels impossible, like today. Another snow day meant I was home unexpectedly... never a good thing. I spent too long shoveling too much snow so my body ached and was fatigued. And I was left on my own in a way that felt like abandonment, even if it wasn't meant that way, which made me feel hurt and alone. All temptations to overeat. I spent all afternoon considering going out and finally decided to stay in---the effort seemed too great and I didn't want to bother spending money when in such a mood. Besides, I knew I had decent food here and I didn't want to binge or eat too much out and then eat home food, too, potentially. It was a struggle...
So... what did I eat today?
Breakfast:
1/2 grapefruit; apricot/date bread, toasted with butter
Snack:
minneola; peanuts after shoveling
Lunch:
whole wheat pasta with sausages and sauce with ricotta cheese
Dinner:
2 slices ez bread pizza with pepperjack cheese; pea pods, carrot sticks, celery sticks with dip
Hot cocoa for dessert
So I made it through the day, but not in a happy or satisfying way. I survived, which is the bare minimum of existence. I can do better than this...
May tomorrow be better...
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