Fearing success, fearing failure...

It is hard to have a little success because now I fear screwing it up and I fear I am not worthy of it, somehow. How wrong is that?! Anyway, it is wearing on me. I will continue to muddle through and get past this tricky spot of almost beginning but still feeling like I am on the brink...

So... what did I eat today?

Breakfast:

1 thick slice apricot date bread, toasted, with butter; milk

This bread is so delicious, I can't even describe it...

Snack:

banana muffin with 2/3B

Lunch:

salmon casserole; yogurt with raspberries and syrup

Snack:

Hot cocoa; peanuts

Dinner:

whole wheat pasta with sausages and sauce with ricotta cheese; green beans

This was a challenge because there was an undetermined amount of pasta left in a bag and I cooked it all, along with three sausages. I ate a generous portion and controlled myself not to go back for more (though I clearly could...). I separated the remaining food into two containers, figuring it was about right, portionally, and it made sense because there were three sausages to start. This sounds simple and normal and ordinary... but for me this was a win. Sad, perhaps, but this is still a noticeable thing for me. I ate fairly reasonably when I could have binged and blamed old habits. A small win, but a win none the less...

And may tomorrow be better...