I am trying so hard and I am so afraid. I am tiptoeing around this and being very careful not to push too hard or make it all impossible. I am struggling with emotions and physical sensations along with the changes I am trying to make. Today I was taking a walk and two cars arrived at the same spot as me and everyone had to decide who was going first. I got impatient and flagged a guy on, grumbling. The driver of the second vehicle saw my crabby face, likely, and rolled down her window, saying "Happy New Year." She wasn't being sarcastic, exactly, but she wasn't being nice, either. It seemed like one of those moments of being "put in my place." I was not gracious, unfortunately, confirming my inferiority. I HATE that about me. My nerves are definitely on edge and I am concerned about how I will be at work. I may have to call the doctor about this hormone supplement, if that is in fact what is making me so edgy.
So... what did I eat today?
Breakfast:
2 largish whole wheat pancakes with butter and maple syrup (delicious!)
Lunch:
yogurt raspberry smoothie with maple syrup; two thin slices of ham; carrots and cucumbers with ranch dip
Dinner:
2 slices bread with butter; salad; shrimp and scallop fra diavlo at Chateau
The bread and butter was too much and there was a lot of pasta (not huge, but more white pasta than I should eat). I need to cut up and have on hand more veggies so I get enough in for the day. Tomorrow I will cook some more choices, too, so i won't be tempted to eat out...
May tomorrow be better...
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